The Christmas deluge is on its way. But it’s not here quite yet.

1. Jack Harlow – “Lovin On Me”

Two weeks. This is actually growing on me, even though everything tells me I ought to hate it.

12. Tate McRae – “Exes”

Boldly, a new release just before Christmas, and with the previous single “Greedy” returning to its peak of number 3 this week, after spending ten straight weeks in the top 10. If you’re releasing singles at now, then either you’re not interested in airplay or (more likely) you’re hoping to be one of the singles poised to benefit from the post-Christmas crash when nothing else is around. That’s probably the plan here, but it’s… not very good?

26. Drake – “You Broke My Heart”

This is one of the six new tracks on the “Scary Hours Edition” of his album “For All The Dogs”. Yes, it’s only been out since October 6th and they’re already onto the special edition. The six new tracks are apparently all new material rather than cast-offs from the original sessions – and this track is certainly a lot more interesting than any regular single Drake has put out in a while – but the decision to essentially reissue the album with an increased running time of 1 hour 48 instead of just putting out an EP is baffling. Nonetheless, the album rebounds to number 3.

“First Person Shooter”, which reached number 4 as an album track back in the dim and distant past of the second week of October, re-enters at number 27.

31. Brenda Lee – “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”

Here we go again. This was recorded in 1958, but didn’t chart in the UK until 1962, when it got to number 6. It started charting again at Christmas 2016 and reached an all-time peak of number 4 last year.

32. Chris Brown – “Angel Numbers / Ten Toes”

This is the first track on Brown’s current album “11:11”, crediting a modest fifteen writers. The album was at number 11 on last week’s album chart (it drops to 22 this week), and this isn’t meant to be one of the singles. Its presence in the top 40 is… puzzling.

34. Kanye West featuring Pusha T – “Runaway”

“Runaway” was a Kanye West single that failed to make the top 40 in 2010 – it was the follow-up to “Power”, which itself only got to number 36. It’s back because West himself put a version of the song whining about his ex-wife on TikTok. This, however, dates from the time when West had yet to torch his bridges.

36. Paul Russell – “Lil Boo Thang”

Gosh, this is all seeming quite… normal. This has been hovering around the lower reaches since September and has the misfortune to finally scrape the top 40 just in time to be shouldered aside by the Christmas records. It’s his debut hit. The sample is “Best of My Love” by the Emotions, which reached number 4 in 1977.

37. Michael Bublé – “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas”

Well, yes, I suppose I have to accept that it is. Originally an album track, this started charting in 2016, and reached an all time peak of number 6 last year.

38. Ariana Grande – “Santa Tell Me”

Sure, why not. Hell, at least this is good. It failed to chart on release in 2014, but it’s charted every year since 2017, and reached an all time peak of number 11 in 2020. Last year, it got to number 14.

This week’s climbers:

• “Prada” by cässo x Raye x D-Block Europe returns to its peak of number 2 for the second time, and a fifth week in total. It’s been in the top 5 now for 11 straight weeks and seems on course to be one of the records that somehow missed being number 1 despite being plainly popular enough.
• “Greedy” by Tate McRae climbs back to its peak of number 3, which it previously occupied for three straight weeks in October; it never fell back below 6.
• “Stick Season” by Noah Kahan climbs 5-4.
• “Can’t Catch Me Now” by Olivia Rodrigo climbs 25-13, as the movie helps it out.
• “Last Christmas” by Wham! climbs 26-14.
• “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey climbs 28-16.
• “Agora Hills” by Doja Cat returns to its peak of number 23 from two weeks ago.

The nine tracks leaving the top 40 are:

• “Won’t Forget You” by Jax Jones x D.o.D. x The Blackout Crew x Ina Wroldsen, which peaked at 29 and only lasted two weeks.
• “Standing Next To You” by Jung Kook, which also lasted two weeks, but spent one of them at number 6.
• “Pompeii” by Bastille, after a five week run peaking at 26.
• “Nice to Meet You” by Pinkpantheress featuring Central Cee, after a single week at number 45.
• “Disconnect” by Becky Hill and Chase & Status, which lasted 18 weeks on the top 40, ten in the top 10, and peaked at 6.
• “Teenage Dirtbag” by Wheatus, mercifully, despite their release of a Christmas edition. It got to number 34.
• “Just How You Like It” by K A D featuring Kak Hatt, which had two weeks peaking at 36.
• “Dance the Night (From Barbie the Album)” by Dua Lipa finally bites the dust after 25 weeks in the top 40, including a week at number 1.
• “IDGAF” by Drake featuring Yeat, which peaked at number 5 on release, gets disqualified under the three song rule – but it was on the verge of dropping out of the top 40 anyway.

With “Dance the Night” gone, we have a new longest-running top 40 hit: “Sprinter” by Dave & Central Cee, which is still here at number 25. It’s at number 33, so I don’t fancy its chances of sticking around.

On the album chart…

1. Madness – “Theatre of the Absurd presents C’est La Vie”

Remarkably, their first number one with a studio album, although they’ve been there twice with greatest hits albums (in 1982 and again in 1992).

5. Dolly Parton – “Rockstar”

It’s an album of rock covers, supposedly inspired by Parton’s nomination for the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, which she initially declined on the grounds that she doesn’t make rock & roll. Her all time peak on the album chart was with a compilation that reached number 2 in 2014, and this is her highest position since then.

12. André Rieu & The Johann Strauss Orchestra – “Jewels of Romance”

André Rieu doesn’t do videos, so here’s an advert. Or rather, he does do videos, but not to promote his albums. There’s an entire two hour live concert on his YouTube channel from a couple of weeks ago, but it has nothing to do with this.

24. The National – “Laugh Track”

Finally, a very low position for the National, whose last five studio albums all made the top 10.