To celebrate His Majesty’s coronation, virtually nothing is happening on the singles chart this week.

1. Calvin Harris & Ellie Goulding – “Miracle”

That’s a total of four weeks. It matches 2015’s “Love Me Like You Do” as Ellie Goulding’s longest running number one. (Calvin Harris’s record is eight weeks, with “One Kiss” in 2018.) If you’re wondering, the number one single on the day of Elizabeth II’s coronation was Frankie Laine’s “I Believe”.

10. Nines – “Tony Soprano 2”
19. Nines – “Calendar”
34. Nines featuring J Styles – “Favela”

The maximum three tracks from his album “Crop Circle 2”, which enters the album chart at number 1. He reached number 1 with his previous album, “Crabs in a Bucket” – the first “Crop Circle” was a 2018 mixtape that number 5.

“Tony Soprano 2” entered at number 11 this week, but climbs a place to become his first top ten hit. “Calendar” is an official single, very much from the old school approach of “how sexist can we get away with being if we claim it’s ironic”. The chorus is lifted from “24/7” by Meek Mill featuring Ella Mai, a 2018 single that wasn’t a hit in this country. “Favela” is just an album track that’s doing particularly well.

And… er, that’s it. This week’s climbers:

• “React” by Switch Disco & Ella Henderson climbs 8-7.
• “Cupid” by Fifty Fifty climbs 18-9. This is somewhat notable, since while it’s not that unusual for K-pop acts to chart high, they rely very heavily on first week attention from their fanbase, and rarely stick around. Even BTS, who can sometimes hang around for a respectable length of time, have never had a record climb from its first-week chart position. “Cupid” has actually climbed from the lower reaches – 91-61-34-26-18-9 – and seems disconnected from the normal K-pop audience.
• “Baby Don’t Hurt Me” by David Guetta, Anne-Marie & Coi Leray climbs 19-13.
• “Can’t Tame Her” by Zara Larsson climbs 30-26.
• “See You Again” by Tyler, The Creator featuring Kali Urchis climbs 36-27.

There are two new entries this week, plus two re-entries at 39 and 40 (climbing from 41 and 42 respectively). The four tracks dropping out are:

• “Mother” by Meghan Trainor, which peaked at 22.
• “Here” by Tom Grennan, which lasted six weeks in the top 40 without ever getting past number 31.
• “Alone” by Kim Petras & Nicki Minaj after a single week at number 37.
• “Twust” by HSTikkyTokky & General G, which evidently did get its single week at number 22 on novelty value.

The album chart is considerably more active:

1. Lottery Winners – “Anxiety Replacement Therapy”

Huh. The Lottery Winners are on their fifth album and have never previously got into the top ten. There are a few guest appearances on this album, but I don’t think the likes of Boy George and Shaun Ryder are shifting many albums.  It’s actually quite a low selling week for albums despite the amount of competition.

2. Nines – “Crop Circle 2”

We’ve covered this.

3. Jessie Ware – “That Feels Good”

Her fifth album; they’ve all made the top 10, and this matches 2020’s “What’s Your Pleasure” for the highest position. The single above is really quite good once it gets going.

4. The National – “First Two Pages of Frankenstein”

That’s their fifth consecutive top five album.

6. Reverend and the Makers – “Heatwave in the Cold North”

I can’t help thinking of these guys as one-hit wonders from 2007, when “Heavyweight Champion of the World” was a top 10 hit. I’m being unfair to them – I remember that track as being more of a novelty song than it actually was, and they’ve now placed seven studio albums in the top 20. It’s been six years since the last one, and it’s actually the highest placing since their 2007 debut.

7. Freya Ridings – “Blood Orange”

Her second album; the first one got to number 3 in 2023. The single “Weekends” scraped the top 40 earlier in the year.

9. The Damned – “Darkadelic”

This is their twelfth studio album. The Damned are one of those bands who don’t exactly go on hiatus so much as they have long stretches in which they only play live. Their last album was in 2018, and returned them to the albums chart after a long, long absence – none of their other albums post 1986 had made the top 40. “Darkadelic” comes in two places below its predecessor, but that’s still fine.

24. Shakin’ Stevens – “Re-Set”

Shakin’ Stevens is now 75, and this is his first album in seven years – the previous one got to number 22. Just like the Damned, that returned him to the top 40 for the first time with a new studio album since the mid-80s. The single above is actually alright, but a quick skim of the lyric videos for the rest of the album turned up a fairly desperate environmental anthem, so we’ll move politely on.

32. Jack Harlow – “Jackman”

His previous album got to number 4 last year. Some people can get away with releasing a surprise album with no prior warning. But Jack Harlow is not Beyoncé. The single above is at number 76.

36. Skerryvore – “Tempus”

And finally, a first appearance in the UK album chart for Celtic rock veterans Skerryvore, who’ve been around since 2005. It’s number one in the Scottish album charts, though the single above is underwhelming.