Nothing if not predictable…

1. Ed Sheeran – “Eyes Closed”

This is the lead single from his next album, predictably entitled “-” (or “Subtract”, if you must insist on saying it out loud). It’s an Ed Sheeran ballad single in the fairly well established mould. It is worth saying that it only reached number 1 thanks to first-week sales of the fan-marketed CD single, which is obviously a one-off – but that doesn’t mean it won’t gain in actual streaming next time round. Sheeran tracks tend to have staying power.

It’s his fourteenth number one single, which is the joint third highest total for any artist – the Beatles had 17, and Elvis Presley had 21. Sheeran is now tied with, um, Cliff Richard and Westlife. It seems inevitable that he’ll beat them, and I’d give him a strong chance of overtaking the Beatles.

“Flowers” by Miley Cyrus drops to number 2 after ten straight weeks at number 1, and most of the top 10 is uneventful. However…

8. Jimin – “Like Crazy”

A second solo hit for the BTS member, after “Set Me Free – Part 2” reached number 30 last week. This one has had a bit more of a push from the record company, in the sense that it’s available in multiple editions to encourage multiple purchases from the fans, which is precisely what happened. That means its position is artificially boosted in week one and it’s unlikely to be sustained… but you never know. It’s a pretty good record.

After that, we head on down to…

29. Paris Paloma – “Labour”

She’s a songwriter from London and this is her first hit. Musically, it’s something you’d expect to find on the album chart, but it’s a very strong record and it’s had some traction on TikTok.

35. Bakar – “Hell N Back”

Another debut hit, but this has been out since 2019 and has just been exhumed by TikTok. The parent album “Nobody’s Home” came out a year ago and managed a week at number 31. It’s a curious, slightly off-kilter record which took a while to grow on me.

39. FLO featuring Missy Elliott – “Fly Girl”

Another debut. This is basically an attempt to launch a new girl band, and logically there should indeed be a gap in the market for this – Little Mix and the Sugababes have both shut up shop, after all. FLO were being heavily pushed at the turn of the year as a Next Big Thing, but there is the awkward fact that they released four singles last year, none of which made the top 75. The jury’s out on whether this is their long-awaited breakthrough or just the last roll of the dice.

Missy Elliott hasn’t been on a hit single single 2013, when she guested on Little Mix’s “How Ya Doin'”.

This week’s climbers are uneventful.

• “People” by Libianca climbs 5-4.
• “If We Ever Broke Up” by Mae Stephens climbs 17-16. It has a proper video now, though one that’s firmly in the “ah, it turns out this idea doesn’t fill three minutes after all” camp.
• “Whistle” by Jax Jones & Calum Scott climbs 25-22.
• “React” by Switch Disco & Ella Henderson climbs 32-26. This also has a video now, made on the reasonable principle that you can’t go that far wrong by pointing a camera at people doing gymnastics.
• “Can’t Tame Her” by Zara Larsson climbs 38-36.
• “Here” by Tom Grennan climbs 39-37.

The five tracks leaving the top 40 are:

• • “Home For My Heart” by Arrdee and Cat Burns, after just two weeks, peaking at 35.

• “Jaded” by Miley Cyrus, which got to 27, but was never seriously in competition with “Flowers”.
• “I’ll be Waiting” by Cian Ducrot got to 16 and had 12 weeks on the top 40.
• “Set Me Free – Part 2” by Jimin got a single week at 30 (which doesn’t exactly bode well for this week’s single).
• “Hide & Seek” by Stormzy peaked at 7 back before Christmas.

The album chart is busy.

1. Lana Del Rey – “Did you know that there’s a tunnel under Ocean Blvd”

Apparently Lana Del Rey doesn’t do videos any more. Or conventional title capitalisation. Anyway, this is her sixth number 1 album. All of her regular albums have reached number 1 or 2. (The word “regular” is there to screen out “Violet Bent Backwards Over The Grass”, a spoken word side project that only got to 25.)

2. Depeche Mode – “Momento Mori”

Here’s another case of veteran acts with album sales continuing to hold up as the format fades. Depeche Mode consistently got their studio albums into the top 10, though number 2 is still at the top end for them, particularly in a busy week. Despite being around forever, they’ve only had two number one albums – 1993’s “Songs of Faith and Devotion” and 1997’s “Ultra”.

3. Fall Out Boy – “So Much (For) Stardust”

Their last three studio albums got to number 2, so they’re consistent.

4. Pink Floyd – “The Dark Side of the Moon – Live At Wembley 1974”
17. Pink Floyd – “The Dark Side of the Moon”

Two releases for the 50th anniversary. I’m a little surprised to see the live album do better, but I guess everyone who cares about “The Dark Side of the Moon” owns it already. The album reached number 2 in 1973; Pink Floyd did have five number one albums between 1970 and 1995, and picked up a sixth in 2014.

5. Luke Combs – “Gettin’ Old”

Country doesn’t travel very well to Europe, but Luke Combs’ previous album got to 9, so he’s evidently an exception.

32. Babymetal – “The Other One”

That’s way down from their last two albums, which reached 15 and 19 respectively. You’ve got to respect a band so committed to metal tropes that they release a partially illegible lyric video, though.

33. Elton John – “Honky Chateau”

50th anniversary reissue. The album reached number 2 on release in… (checks notes) … June 1972. Okay then. It was his fifth album, but it’s the point in his career where he starts having consistent hits. (Though his first hit single was “Your Song”, which was on its predecessor.)

35. Katie Melua – “Love & Money”

And finally… erk. Katie Melua has never missed the top 10 with a studio album – something has gone off the rails here.