It’s the first chart of December, what did you think was going to happen?

1. Taylor Swift – “Anti-Hero”

That’s six weeks. Still two weeks to go until it matches LF System’s “Afraid to Feel” – in fact, three number ones this year have had longer runs than six weeks.

18. Brenda Lee – “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree”

Right, then, here we go. “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” was recorded in 1958, and reached number 6 in the UK at Christmas 1962. It did nothing in the early years of the streaming era, but it’s charted every year since 2016. Last year, it made its all time peak of number 5.

20. Michael Bublé – “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas”

A track from his 2011 “Christmas” album, which didn’t make the singles chart until 2016; since then, it’s peaked at number 7 in three years, including 2020 and 2021. The video above was made last year, presumably figuring that it would get enough airplay on music channels to make it worthwhile.

26. Shakin’ Stevens – “Merry Christmas Everyone”

The Christmas number 1 of 1985, and another perennial Christmas re-entry of the modern era. It’s reached number 6 three years running. Tragically, the version of this video now on YouTube has removed the baffling original intro, in which Stevens and a small child make their way to Santaland in bleak silence over a truly inordinate length of time. Stevens is now one of those artists only known to younger audience for his Christmas hit, but in his early 80s peak, his 50s revivalism was very big indeed – he had three other number 1s, and a total of 15 number top 10 hits. This is a more typical example of his output.

28. Ariana Grandé – “Santa Tell Me”

Ariana Grandé is an unusual case of someone who’s having an annual Christmas hit even while still being active in the regular singles chart – though she didn’t actually release anything this year. True, Michael Bublé is still active, but he’s not having hit singles. “Santa Tell Me” was released at Christmas 2014, but did absolutely nothing in the UK until 2017. Its all time peak is number 11 in 2020.

30. The Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl – “Fairytale of New York”

Well, of course. This was the Christmas number 2 in 1987, when it got stuck behind the Pet Shop Boys’ version of “Always On My Mind”. It’s been back every year since 2005, and it’s made the top 5 every year since 2017.

31. Kelly Clarkson – “Underneath the Tree”

Originally a number 30 hit at Christmas 2013, this has been back every year since 2016. Its all time peak is number 15, two years ago; it fell just a couple of places short of that last year.

32. Stormzy – “This is What I Mean”

This is the release-week single and title track from “This is What I Mean”, which enters the album chart at number 1. That’s entirely unsurprising, since all three of Stormzy’s albums have now gone to number 1, and it’s not like he’s facing a huge amount of competition for his audience’s attention. (We’ll see in a moment who his biggest challenger was.)

34. Band Aid – “Do They Know It’s Christmas”

The Christmas number 1 of 1984; the official video is on YouTube and linked above, but it’s not embeddable because it’s the version with graphic period news footage, which has been deemed unsuitable for all-ages audiences (and some of it is quite upsetting, honestly). There is something uncomfortable about the way that the British public have adopted as a festive party standard a song about the 1984 Ethiopian famine.

36. Bobby Helms – “Jingle Bell Rock”

Originally released in 1957, but not a top 40 hit in the UK until 2019, apparently driven by its inclusion on stock Christmas playlists on the streaming services. It reached an all-time peak of number 16 last year.

This week’s climbers:

• “Made You Look” by Meghan Trainor climbs 3-2. Could she sneak a third number one before Christmas? It’s conceivable.
• “Messy in Heaven” by venbee & goddard climbs 5-3. But I’m rooting for this. After all, it’s about Jesus, which means it’s topical.
• “Psycho” by Anne-Marie & Aitch peaked at number six back in October, drifted down to number 14, and then started climbing again. It now reaches a new peak of 5.
• “Escapism” by Raye featuring 070 Shake climbs 31-6, which is deservedly her biggest hit as a lead artist. She’s reached number 3 twice as a guest.
• “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey climbs 18-8.
• “Last Christmas” by Wham! climbs 23-9.
• “Firebabe” by Stormzy climbs 26-11.
• “Merry Christmas” by Ed Sheeran & Elton John climbs 40-15.
• “Lionheart (Fearless)” by Joel Corry & Tom Grennan climbs 27-22.

Nine tracks leave the top 40, to make way for the march of the Christmas songs (and Stormzy):

• “Golden Hour” by JVKE peaked at 36.
• “Mockingbird” by Eminem spent a couple of weeks as a minor viral hit, peaking at 37.
• “I Ain’t Worried” by OneRepublic peaked at 3 a while back.
• “B.O.T.A. (Baddest of them All)” by Eliza Rose and Interplanetary Criminal was a number 1 for two weeks in September.
• “Shirt” by SZA entered at 17 and fell from there, but lasted four weeks in the top 40.
• “Cuff It” by Beyoncé peaked at number 5 and spent 15 weeks in the top 40.
• “Under the Influence” by Chris Brown peaked at number 7 and spent six weeks in the top 10.
• “Fresh Out the Bank” by Meekz & Dave got a week at number 35.
• “Circo Loco” by Drake & 21 Savage got a week at number 7 before plunging, but still lasted three weeks.

On the album chart, Stormzy is number 1, beating off…

2. Cliff Richard – “Christmas With Cliff”

The Cliff Richard audience is nothing if not ferociously loyal. This is his 47th top 10 album, the first coming in 1959; he’s now 82. While number 2 is his highest position since 1993, it’s close – his last album was two years ago and that got to number 3.

And because nobody’s releasing albums this week, the only other entry is…

9. The Cure – “Wish”

Anniversary reissue of their 1992 album, which was their only number 1. It’s the one with “Friday I’m in Love” on it.