Welcome, then, to what looks set to be a bizarre (and perhaps simply bestilled) era for the charts. As the UK edges closer to lockdown, streaming of music can continue, and the data to compile the charts will still be available. There’s no particular reason not to compile them, in the circumstances. But what they’ll actually contain is another matter – will people keep releasing new material? How do they promote it? Does the chart keep looking broadly normal, or does it fill up with weird viral inspirational tracks?

1. Saint JHN – “Roses”

Who’d choose to have their first number one in circumstances like this? “Roses” has been on the top 40 for 8 weeks, and it’s been stuck behind the Weeknd for the last two weeks. On top of that, it’s a number one that comes with a bit of an asterisk. “Roses” came out in 2016; the version that people are actually listening to is the Imanbek remix above. It’s nowhere near as extreme a case as Tori Amos, who notionally had a UK number 1 with “Professional Widow” on the basis of Armand van Helden’s remix – that’s a completely different track that happens to sample snatches of Amos’s vocal. “Roses” remains intact as a song, but sped up and with the whole atmosphere changed. The chart, of course, treats all versions of “Roses” as interchangeable and (absent a request from the record company) doesn’t officially credit Imanbek.

Further down, there’s not much on. “Lonely” by Joel Corry climbs 7-5. That overtakes “Sorry” to become his biggest – well, bigger – hit. “Physical” by Dua Lipa” and “Say So” by Doja Cat edge up a place each, to 7 and 8 respectively. “Better Off Without You” by Becky Hill featuring Shift K3y climbs 16-14. “Boyfriend” by Mabel climbs 25-17. “To Die For” by Sam Smith edges 19-18. “Blueberry Faygo” by Lil Mosey, which entered at 40 two weeks ago and dropped to 41 last week, leaps up to 19. “Falling” by Harry Styles climbs 24-20. “Supalonely” by Benee featuring Gus Dapperton vaults a respectable 39-22. “Death Bed” by Powfu featuring Beabadoobee climbs 34-23. “City of Angels” by 24KGoldn climbs 32-25. “Know Your Worth” by Khalid & Disclosure climbs 38-29. “Birthday” by Anne-Marie climbs 33-31. So a few big climbers, but no new entries until we reach…

32. Niall Horan – “No Judgement”

This is the current single from Niall Horan’s second album “Heartbreak Weather”, which enters the album chart at number 1. It’s his first number one (the debut got to 3), though of course he had several more as a member of One Direction. The singles have performed… underwhelmingly? This has been out for six weeks and it’s only just charting now. The highest placing single from the album was “Nice to Meet Ya”, which reached 22 last year.

34. Doja Cat – “Boss Bitch”

Her debut hit is still climbing up the top 10, but here’s a quick follow-up from the Birds of Prey soundtrack. In normal circumstances, I’d say that this could do well.

35. Tory Lanez featuring Chris Brown – “The Take”

Oh, him. This has been out for a while and I’m not sure why it’s suddenly charting now. Unusually, it both features an original verse by Chris Brown and samples one of his records – “Take You Down”, which was a minor hit in some countries in 2008, but did nothing in the UK.

37. Octavian & Skepta – “Papi Chulo”

Octavian is a French/English rapper, and this is his debut hit, though let’s be honest, it’s probably here mostly thanks to Skepta’s profile. It’s not great.

38. Jax Jones & Martin Solveig presents Europa featuring Raye – “Tequila”

One of our odder credits – “Europa” is a collective name for Jones and Solveig, but one that they don’t seem to have the confidence to actually use on their records, resulting in tracks credited to Jones, Solveig and Europa. Weird. Anyway, this is quite decent.

Over on the album chart, Horan is number 1…

3. The Shires – “Good Years”

The UK country band. Very MOR stuff, but their last three albums have all reached number 3.

4. Circa Waves – “Sad Happy”

Their highest placing album, after the three predecessors all landed at 10 or 11. If I’d made a song called “Sad Happy” and the video pitch was “sad clowns”, I’m not sure I’d have gone with that…

8. Matt Monro – “Stranger in Paradise – The Lost New York”

Number eight? Even by the standards of the modern album market, I’d have thought this was a bit niche. Matt Monro (1930-1985) had several top ten hits in the early 60s; this is a combination of a greatest hits album and an unreleased album of Broadway covers. Honest. No videos for anything on this album, but here’s his version of the title track.

14. The Snuts – “Mixtape”

Scottish indie band with their debut EP. Much better than I was expecting, actually. Worth a play.

16. Don Toliver – “Heaven or Hell”

Debut album. The first single, “No Idea”, reached number 39 on the singles chart just before Christmas.

23. The Lottery Winners – “The Lottery Winners”

Gosh, this really is retro indie. They’ve been releasing single for years, but this is their first album.

34. Four Tet – “Sixteen Oceans”

Only the second Kieran Hebden album to make the top 40 (the other was “There is Love in You”, which made number 35 in 2010). The video above is simple but excellent. Mind you, Four Tet have always made great videos. Here’s 2003’s “As Serious As Your Life”, which is one of the great micro-budget videos – underwhelming footage turned into a video by editing alone.

40. Therapy? – “Greatest Hits (2020 Versions)”

Therapy? playing their own hits live in Abbey Road. So it’s kind of an empty-arena live album…