Let’s start with some on-balance good news.  Last week I pointed out that the downloads of X Factor live performances are registering in the iTunes chart this year, and wondered whether this might mean they were going to register for the official chart as well.  Which would obviously be a bit of a slog for us.

Well, evidently the decision is that they’re still opting out of the chart – which makes matters rather more amenable for these posts.  It also, of course, puts a bit of an asterisk next to the chart, since we know there’s at least one of these things that would have made the top 20.  But so be it.  It’s a kind of parallel musical world anyway…

35.  Charli XCX – “Break The Rules”

This is the second video Charli XCX has done this year where she’s pretending to be an American schoolgirl!  She does realise that she’s an adult woman from Cambridge, right?

At any rate, I can’t imagine her record company is going to be happy with this.  This is the second single from her upcoming album “Sucker”.  The good news is at least it charts, which she wasn’t doing with the singles from her previous two albums.  But “Boom Clap” got to number 6, and here we are outside the top 30 (down from mid-20s on the midweeks).  It’s not promising.

It’s a perfectly good pop song but I wonder if there’s a mismatch of artist and material here – is this the sort of song she should just be handing over to other people?

19.  Krishane featuring Melissa Steel – “Drunk and Incapable”

I’m going to hazard a guess that Melissa Steel is the main draw here, since it’s her third hit in a very short period, following Kove’s “Way We Are” in July and her own “Kisses for Breakfast”, which got to number 10 in August.  (And plummeted pretty quickly after that, admittedly.)  Much like “Kisses”, it’s a pleasant  enough pop-reggae track.

Krishane, making his chart debut here, is the son of reggae singer Barrington Levy, a big name in Jamaica though a rather marginal one in UK chart terms.  By landing at 19, he beats by one place his father’s highest ever UK placing – which was as a guest on the Rebel MC’s 1991 single “Tribal Base”.

There’s a remix of this with Beenie Man contributing a verse, but the OCC isn’t listing him as a co-artist (whatever it may say on the Radio 1 website), presumably because his contribution to the main release has been reduced to a couple of snatches of vocal.  Beenie Man hasn’t been seen on the top 40 since 2004 when everyone twigged that he was a massive homophobe and he became persona non grata, but before that he several UK hits over a period of six years.

20.  Wilkinson featuring Talay Riley – “Dirty Love”

This is the lead single from Wilkinson’s second album (after the label ditched plans to use it as a filler on the deluxe reissue of the first one).  It’s his third hit, following “Afterglow” a year ago and “Half Light’ in June.  Talay Riley makes his second appearance in as many weeks, after guesting on last week’s Luvbug single “Resonance” (which drops straight out of the chart).  This will be following suit next week, I suspect.

15.  Watermät – “Bullit”

This week’s random French dance record, belatedly getting a UK release months after being a top 10 hit in Belgium.  The hook is built around a sample of the intro to “My Whole World Ended (The Moment You Left Me)”, the 1969 solo debut by David Ruffin, formerly the frontman of the Temptations.  “Bullit” helpfully livens things up by adding one of the most irritating noises I’ve heard in a dance record in ages.

10.  Eminem featuring Sia – “Guts Over Fear”

This is the token new track from Eminem’s upcoming greatest hits album, “Shady XV”.  I wouldn’t say it’s one of his more obvious crossover hits, nor is it really intended to be – there’s only a lyric video, after all – but his name power is still enough to get it into the top 10.

9.  The Vamps featuring Shawn Mendes – “Oh Cecilia (Breaking My Heart)”

This was 5 in the midweeks, which would already have been enough to make it the Vamps’ smallest hit to date.  It’s based heavily on Simon & Garfunkel’s “Cecilia”, though not strictly a cover.  Oddly, the original failed to chart in the UK, despite being released as the follow-up to “Bridge over Troubled Water”, which was a number 1.  A cover by Suggs did get to number 4 in 1996, but we don’t talk about that.

Shawn Mendes is a Canadian teen star – the decision to launch him as a guest on another boy band’s record is an odd choice, especially as he kind of gets lost in the mix.

2.  One Direction – “Steal My Girl”

Odd to see two boy bands releasing singles directly opposite one another – but this appears to have been brought forward slightly following a leak, so the Vamps kind of got screwed there.  Not that they were ever getting within a mile of the top.

This is the lead single from One Direction’s next album, and the video is due out at the weekend.  The schtick here is to work some 80s FM rock routines into what’s basically a One Direction song.  It’s not awful, but iTunes has it already on its way out of the top ten.  Looks like basically a fan base release, at this stage.

1.  Meghan Trainor – “All About That Bass”

Three weeks at the top – and, to judge from iTunes, hanging on for a fourth.  Clearly one of the big hits of the year.

On the album chart:

• “Chapter One” by Ella Henderson at number 1.  “Ghost” was a number 1 hit earlier in the year.
• “Sweet Talker” by Jessie J at 5.  Well, “Bang Bang” was a number 1 hit recently… but 5 is really not great for the first week of a new Jessie J album, considering the level she’s meant to be at.
• “Songs of Innocence” by U2 at 6.  Low for a U2 album, but they did give it away.  Considering this is selling exclusively to the people who either don’t have iTunes or wanted a physical copy, that’s a good number.
• “The Story: The Very Best of Spandau Ballet” at 8.  For anyone who missed “The Single Collection” (1985), “The Best of Spandau Ballet” (1991), or “Gold – The Best of Spandau Ballet” (2000).  But this time it’s the very best.
• “Tough Love” by Jessie Ware at 9.  Her second album.  “Tough Love” and “Say You Love Me” were both minor hits earlier in the year.
• “Rose Ave” by You+Me at 10.  Not quite as unlikely as the recent Lady Gaga/Tony Bennett album, but getting there – Pink and the singer of Alexisonfire join forces to make a country-folk album.  Single: “You and Me”.
• “Tenore” by Jonathan Antoine at 13.  Solo debut from the bloke from Britain’s Got Talent pop-classical act Jonathan & Charlotte.  Interested readers can witness him discuss the creative process for 7 minutes here (and to be fair, he does actually sound pretty sincere about the thing).  Single: “La donna e mobile”.
• “Memoirs of a Madman” by Ozzy Osbourne at 23.  A compilation album, and tragically not the great man’s conceptual take on Gustav Flaubert’s 1837 autobiographical text.
• “Modern Life” by Si Cranstoun at 30.  Solo debut from a guy who used to be in the Dualers, a Croydon ska band who had a couple of minor hits around ten years ago.  Single: “Dance for Evermore”.