All-New X-Men vol 6 – “The Ultimate Adventure”
It’s been a while – a long while – since I’ve been able to say this, but there’s a podcast this week! Check one post down for the new House to Astonish episode.
Meanwhile… All-New X-Men visits the Ultimate Universe in a story that ran long. This was originally solicited as a five parter, it winds up at six, and it’s gone off schedule enough that issue #38 ended up shipping ahead of issue #37 (to avoid screwing up the Black Vortex crossover).
There was a window of opportunity to visit the Ultimate Universe and have it be a really big deal. That window closed a while back, and today, it’s pretty much boarded up. The Ultimate Universe had a good run as a successful imprint, but several failed relaunches down the line, the end seems to be nigh.
Part of Marvel’s pitch for the upcoming Secret Wars is that it’s going to merge the Ultimate Universe with the Marvel Universe. It’s difficult to get terribly wound up about this, because as we discussed on the podcast, it pretty much just means that Miles Morales, and possibly Ultimate Nick Fury, will be slotted into the established continuity. It’s not like there are other Ultimate characters where there would be an obvious advantage to having them supplant the originals. It’s a one book line now, and that one book is not Ultimate X-Men.
But since the line has to go out with a bang – and no doubt also because Bendis is fond of the place – it’s necessary to build it up one last time.
With Scott’s team off attending the reading of Charles Xavier’s will in Uncanny X-Men, the All-New team are left to respond to a new mutant. Carmen has the power to involuntarily open portals to other continuities, so she’s that popular Bendis figure, Plot Advancement Lass, who has the power to conveniently do whatever is necessary to advance the plot. Layla Miller started as one of these too. Beyond opening plot-vital portals, Carmen’s personality consists, pretty much in its entirety, of looking befuddled and scared – which is logical enough, but still makes her basically a one-note trope attached to a plot point. In fact, she drops out of the story as soon as she’s served her purpose, and doesn’t appear again until the end.
This leads to everyone being scattered around the Ultimate Universe. So Iceman gets to fight the Ultimate Mole Man, Jean meets Ultimate Spider-Man, Angel goes to the Ultimate Savage Land to meet Wolverine’s son James Hudson, Beast gets captured by Doctor Doom, and X-23… well, she just gets chased around a bit.
The obvious problem with all of this is: who the hell cares? Who gives a toss about Ultimate Doctor Doom, at this stage? What does any of this have to do with the title characters? They’re already fish out of water as their basic gimmick, so moving them to the Ultimate Universe doesn’t really add anything to that.
Well, we do get some of Jean Grey lamenting that this is just the latest example of how little the X-Men are achieving with their second chance at life. And it’s true that they’ve achieved very little, but that feels mostly like a symptom of the book’s directionlessness. We do get some mention of the different origin for mutants in the Ultimate Universe, but it has nothing to do with the plot and just leads to people doing more lamenting. And we do get the Ultimate X-Men showing up as guest stars – but the book pretty much relies on you already regarding this as Helluva Cool, instead of giving you any particular reason to think so.
It’s possible that if you stuck with Ultimate X-Men to the bitter end, there might be stuff going on here that interests you. I dropped it years ago and what I get out of this book is a bunch of characters wandering around essentially random elements of an alternate reality that isn’t particularly different from the main one for six issues until it’s time to go home. The big climax is a fight with Dr Doom to rescue the Beast, but that’s pretty much just a fight that drags out for two issues in the hope that page count will give it the epic scale that the concepts lack.
If there’s a point to this, it’s to remind readers about the Ultimate Universe which they don’t buy any more, and in that sense build to Secret Wars. But then if there’s a point to anything in All-New X-Men, it’s to build to Secret Wars, in the sense of endlessly foreshadowing it while marking time.
The upcoming relaunch of the line interests me. In that sense, I guess you could claim that Bendis is doing his job here, but it’s not so much that All-New is building anticipation for Secret Wars. The mechanics of how we get to the relaunch, I remain sceptical about. I’m interested in what comes after that. London is an interesting destination; that does not prevent the M1 being a monumentally tedious drive.
If you aren’t seriously passionate about the Ultimate Universe – and judging from the sales figures over the last few years, you aren’t – this is self-indulgent tedium of the worst sort. It’s also complacent – the whole thing rests on the assumption that people are excited about a trip to the Ultimate Universe, despite the evidence of said sales figures, since god knows it does nothing to explain to us why we should care about any of this.
It’s not as if the Ultimate Universe is inherently interesting viewed as an alternate MU. It’s simply a cover version which is mildly different in various ways. So for there to be any particular interest in a crossover, it really needs to be a living place, or something far enough in the past to make the crossover a nostalgia thing. The frisson is metatextual; it’s not to do with any particular high concept of the Ultimate Universe. So this precise moment in time – with the Ultimate Universe around, but about to breathe its last – is the very hardest time to be doing this sort of story (unless you’re actually going to play off the UU’s last-legs status, but for perfectly understandable reasons, Bendis isn’t going to do that).
The result is pointless, boring and complacent. I sat down to re-read it before writing this and I nearly gave up twice. This doesn’t happen often.
Still, the end is in sight.
Plot Advancement Lass sounds like she should be a member of the Legion of Substitute Heroes.
And honestly, how does Bendis let himself go long on a story right before his own big crossover? Is anyone even bothering to edit him nowadays?
“It’s not like there are other Ultimate characters where there would be an obvious advantage to having them supplant the originals. It’s a one book line now, and that one book is not Ultimate X-Men.”
I was about to suggest that Ultimate Wolverine might replace Logan-616, rather than the original coming back to life. Then I read the bit about Jimmy Hudson and thought “Oh, that’s right, Ultimate Wolverine died years ago and no-one really cared.” So yeah.
I think saying “only” Miles and Ultimate Nick Fury is (admittedly very slightly) selling the Ultimate line short.
There are one or two other viable candidates – Reed being the big one, I could see him sticking round as a higher profile equivalent of Dark Beast, and similarly, I could see Marvel trading in or fusing “Mum Sue Storm” for “Young genius Sue Storm”. Beyond that, a minor trade in, but ultimate Colossus imported over would probably automatically be Marvel’s most high profile gay character?
I know nobody cares but I think that Ultimate Doctor Doom was very much out of character. We saw him only recently in Ultimate FF and he was sort of an anti-hero.
I bought the first arc of ANX, and when it became apparent that Bendis didn’t know what to do with it, I stopped buying. But I was still mildly curious, so I would read it in the shop before buying other books. This story was so dull, I stopped even reading it for free.
All-New X-Men seems primarily motivated by the Spider-men miniseries Bendis wrote, and wringing artificial drama out of unlikely encounters with younger versions of long-dead characters. That’s what All-New X-Men was for 12 issues or so, which is still not substantial enough to hang an ongoing series on.
And it hasn’t had that going for it for 20 or so issues.
The biggest missed opportunity was that The All-new X-Men stayed in the present because Jean wanted fix the world and in the Ultimate Universe, Ultimate Jean actually did try to fix the world and started a mutant war!
Why isn’t Teen Jean freakjng out more? She now has a third example of herself going crazy and doing terrible things (dark Phoenix, Xorn Jean, and now ultimate).
You’d think Jean would realize the best thing she can do now is just retire because she seems destined to be an all-powerful troublemaker.
Don’t forget how she was put on trial for crimes her future self caused freaking 20 years earlier.
I can’t see why the Ultimate Universe can’t continue solely as the backdrop for the Ultimate Spider-man series. It’s not dissimilar from what’s happening with Spider-Gwen in her own continuity.
As for the comic in review itself? Sounds like what you’d expect from a Bendis comic. There is only so many times you can buy them before you realise the problem isn’t his style, but that you keep rewarding him with your cash.
@Brendan,
I don’t think it’s fair to excoriate Paul for buying Bendis’ lousy comics. Paul is buying them for the purposes of review, not simply to enjoy them. A critic has to go to the bad movies to write a critical review, even if she knows the movie is going to be bad. That’s her job. Paul’s in the same boat.
As for the rest of us, yes, we should vote with our dollars. Unfortunately, the collectors’ completionist drive makes it really hard for some people to forgo certain comics even when they’re absolutely terrible, like Bendis’ X-Men have been. I’m glad the completionist bug never bit me to hard, and I feel sorry for those people who are fatally infected.
Hey, they’re not great, but they’re not Chuck Austen (I’ve had the bug for decades and, yes, I have a complete run of the horrific Austen run).
Has there ever been a story about a Shi’Ar cult that worships the Phoenix? That seems like the natural, logical progression of illogical actions that the Shi’Ar have adopted against the Greys.
Ah, remember in the early to late 2000s, when the the Ultimate imprint was one of the industry bright spots in terms of sales and buzz? How time have changed in less than a decade.
The mainline X-men meeting their Ultimate version would have been a cool event people cared about 10 years ago. Today? The last gasps of a dying imprint trying to stir up some hype before it’s demise.
“Well, we do get some of Jean Grey lamenting that this is just the latest example of how little the X-Men are achieving with their second chance at life. And it’s true that they’ve achieved very little, but that feels mostly like a symptom of the book’s directionlessness.”
It’s almost like Bendis is offering some meta-criticism of himself and his writing style. Almost.
Doesn’t the main Marvel universe already have a bald black badass version of Nick Fury who looks like Samuel Jackson?
The best thing about Bendis’ books has been the art
Person of Con: Ironically enough, the Ultimate version of the Shi’ar worshipped the Phoenix.
@Dinnacha – Disagree. It’s almost as bad as Austen bit costs more than twice as much per issue (arguably it’s worse, in that, if nothing else, stuff actually took place in Austen’s comics. Bad stuff, yes, but stuff nonetheless)
Since AvX, I’ve been following the X-books through Marvel Unlimited. This review is making me not want to even bother with that any more (the first issue of this story just posted. My response was basically “hey cool, Ultimate Cho! None of the rest of this is interesting.”
Since the lettering conventions of the two universes remain constant (Ultimate characters speak in mixed-case with that one typeface/letterer that every Ult book uses, 616 chars speak in more comics-y all caps) I have to wonder if something sounds ‘off’ to a character who meets themselves. Is everyone in the Ult U a half-octave higher? Do they all whisper?
……………………………………………………………………………………………………….’Xorn Jean’?
@Daniel
Check out http://avengersandxmen.wikia.com/wiki/Lady_Xorn
Post-Morrison Xorn appearances don’t count. Ever
The Ultimate universe has served its purpose and the Marvel Cinematic Universe has taken its place as the main place to introduce Marvel characters to people for the first time. That’s all well and good. The worm turns.
I don’t assume Bendis is leading to Secret Wars. I think that Secret Wars is mainly an offshoot of Hickman’s Avengers as DC One Million was to Grant Morrison’s JLA. Not the beginning or the end of the run… just the crossover in the middle. At most I think Bendis is just going to meet Hickman in the middle somewhere.
No, Infinity was the crossover in the middle. Secret Wars 2015 is explictly the finale of Hickman’s Avengers run (while Bendis is leaving UXM and ANXM imminently as well).
@Zach Adams: I’m also reading it via Marvel Comics Unlimited. For Bendis’s books, I tend to wait for each storyline to end, then read through the whole storyline as a whole, so I’ll read this one when it posts the rest of it. Given that I’m getting it for “free” that way (I’m honestly paying the subscription so I can read Hickman’s Avengers stuff, so reading most everything else is gravy).
I stand by my position that that app is the greatest thing ever, even with the six-month gap. I don’t even buy new comics (physical or digital) any longer: I just read the delayed releases on MCU and then pick up occasional trades (or mostly HCs/omnibuses) of special books or stories that I really liked after reading on the app and want to go back with special features!
@WWK5D: Marvel did jump through hoops to create a Samuel L Fury for 616, but I’m sure even they, if they were being honest, would admit that he’s the Mr Pib to Ultimate Fury’s Dr Pepper.
Somebody — yeah, it is Hickman’s finale. I missed that somewhere. At any rate, I think the core Secret Wars series is Hickman’s baby. Bendis’ wacky time and space adventures will probably wrap up in some Bendis project on his own terms.
jpw: “Post-Morrison Xorn appearances don’t count. Ever”
Um. Neither do Morrison Xorn appearances, because Morrison uncreated Xorn in one of the clumsiest plot twists I’ve seen in any medium ever. Good character flushed down the drain to serve an exceptionally weak story.
Also, as for the Ultimate U, I don’t understand all of this reverence for the early days. From the outset that place was doomed to fail simply by virtue of being an ongoing parallel universe where everything was either too different to relate to the Marvel U or not different enough to justify its existence as a separate reality. Big name writers and artists could (and should) have just revitalized existing properties in the real universe that actually matters. I mean, how long can you be “continuity free” in an ongoing universe? Once you have a year’s worth of stories under your belt, is it THAT much easier to explain in a few sentences than the original universe? It was doomed from the start.
I’ve said it before, so I’ll keep it brief this time:
I think Bendis’ X-Men is notably worse than Austen’s was. Austen wrote stupid stories, with bad dialogue and poor characterization, but his stories were coherent. Bendis has written stupid stories with stupid dialogue and atrocious characterization, and he hasn’t even been able to make the stories coherent.
“I created this hologram in case Illyana Rasputin, Emma Frost and I, Scott Summers, are killed at the same time.”
Who the hell refers to themselves in the third person and by both names?! Silver-Age super villains and maybe Thor, that’s who. Remember when Claremont got all that flack for having his characters announce themselves: “Ahm Rogue!” in every issue of X-Treme X-Men. At least he was using codenames.
@#$% Bendis and the bullshit comics he’s been producing.
Once they announced where the mulitversal collapse thing was going, I assumed the time is broken story would be a way to not be able to simply time travel back and undo it.
“I know nobody cares but I think that Ultimate Doctor Doom was very much out of character. We saw him only recently in Ultimate FF and he was sort of an anti-hero.”
Honestly, I’m not sure Ultimate Doctor Doom has ever had a consistent character. Sometimes he has goat legs, sometimes he doesn’t. He somehow goes from leading a group of hippies in Denmark to dictator of a whole nation. He gets trapped in the zombie universe and then just reappears without any explanation. The Doom who caused Ultimatum was really Sue and Johnny Storm’s mother in disguise.
It’s kind of a mess.
“Morrison uncreated Xorn in one of the clumsiest plot twists I’ve seen in any medium ever.”
By “clumsy,” do you mean you didn’t see it coming, because it was subtle and seeded well throughout the entire run?
Yeah, Morrison’s Xorn wasn’t so much “clumsy” as it was “his plan all along, as you can see from the many clues throughout the run”
@Brian
I still buy indie comics (mostly Valiant, with a few Image holdovers and TF: MTMTE), but my Marvel has been trending down ever since MCU got an app. I’m down to just the Time Runs Out tie-ins, Guardians 3000, Ant-Man and Daredevil, and will probably be dropping everything that’s left either when Secret Wars starts or ends. Waiting for the end of the arc is probably the best idea, but since I blew thru both ANXM and UXM in about two months after ignoring them until now.
I love MCU, but really wish they’d do something about the huge gap in the 80s-90s material. The fact that I can’t get most of the Simonsons’ X-Factor stuff in any format other than out-of-print Essentials is really irritating to me.
@Nu-D
That’s a fair point. I do appreciate Paul reading those books so I don’t have to. And I do enjoy his scathing critique of poorly executed x-books. The Wolverine Origins period was certainly a case of my enjoyment reading the review > Paul’s enjoyment of reading the book.
But when I had written my comment, I was thinking more about us as readers in general than Paul in particular (a you pointed out).
I’ll admit to buying into the start of Bendis’ Avengers run because it had most of the *best/popular* Marvel Characters in it. But at this stage of the game, people must be buying his books because they like Bendis’ style or are completely dedicated to certain characters regardless of how badly they are miss-characterised.
Admittedly, that second point is not a new phenomena to American comic fans.