Five new entries, four of them in the top ten.  It’s a busy week at the top and a dead one at the bottom – though it’s also one of the increasingly rare weeks were the number one sold fewer than 100,000.

14.  Matt Cardle & Melanie C – “Loving You”

Some names we haven’t heard in a while.  Matt Cardle was the X Factor winner in 2010.  He had the obligatory number 1 hit with his coronation single “When We Collide”, reached number 6 with “Run For Your Life” the next autumn, and then got unceremoniously dropped.

Undeterred, Cardle signed to another label and released a second album in 2012, which didn’t spawn any hit singles, but did make the album top ten.  “Loving You” is the lead single from his upcoming third album.  This is an unusually MOR-oriented track to make it this far up the singles chart – that audience mainly buys albums these days – but it’s a good enough track within its genre, so fair play to him.

He’s duetting with Melanie Chisholm of the Spice Girls, who hasn’t had a solo chart credit since 2007.  She had one of the group’s more successful solo careers, including two number 1s in 2000 (“Never Be The Same Again” and “I Turn To You”, both of which are pretty good).

It’s going to plummet next week, but it’s exceeded expectations just by getting this far.

8.  Naughty Boy featuring Emeli Sande – “Lifted”

This is the fifth time Naughty Boy and Emeli Sande have been credited together on a hit single, which must be some sort of record for a duo who aren’t formally a duo.  The formula’s starting to sound a little bit familiar, and this doesn’t look set to stick around for very long, but it’s going for uplifting and epic and largely ticks the boxes.  It just does it in a way you’ve heard before.

7.  Sean Paul – “Other Side of Love”

Wow, that’s a really annoying production they’ve done on his voice.  Ends up sounding thin and autotuned without going far enough to make it sound like a deliberate choice.  Hate it.  Shame, because there’s a half-decent chorus in there.

4.  DJ Fresh vs Diplo featuring Dominique Young Unique – “Earthquake”

DJ Fresh versus Diplo.  And if we’re judging it in terms of how much it sounds like their other records, I’d call this a pretty emphatic victory for Diplo.  This doesn’t sound remotely like anything else DJ Fresh has put in the chart before.  It is, however, entirely at home in the Kick-Ass 2 soundtrack (hence the video, though it’s surprisingly light on the usual film clips).

Diplo crops up more often as a producer than as a credited artist; his only previous top 40 hit was his collaboration with Tiesto, “C’Mon (Catch ‘Em By Surprise)”, which made number 13 (and sounded more like Tiesto).   Rapper Dominique Clark gets her first hit too.

3.  Klangkarussell featuring Will Heard – “Sonnentanz (The Sun Don’t Shine)”

Technically, that’s not the version in the charts.  “Sonnentanz” by the Austrian duo Klangkarussell has been a hit around Europe in the instrumental version above, but certain UK dance labels never saw a foreign instrumental that they didn’t think could be improved by dumping a vocal line over the top.  That’s where Will Heard and the brackets in the title come in.

Naturally, the last thing this delicate little balance of spaced-out jazz-house needs is somebody singing over the top and distracting from the hook.  Heard’s vocal isn’t bad, but the songwriting is by numbers and the whole thing is a distraction that ruins the track.  It’s genuinely wretched.  See for yourself if you don’t believe me.

But the instrumental original… yeah, that’s a lovely relaxing track.  Shame most people in Britain will be getting the wrong version.

1.  Ellie Goulding – “Burn”

Second week at number 1, looks to be on course for a third.  That’s as much because of a lack of genuinely strong challengers to match what we’ve seen for most of this year, but it’s still a significant hit.

On the albums chart:

• “The Impossible Dream” by Richard & Adam is still at number 1 and doesn’t seem to be going anywhere.  They’re benefitting from the fact that it really doesn’t take much to have a number 1 album these days.
• “Where You Stand” by Travis at number 3.  They haven’t had a hit single since 2007, but they’re still doing just fine in albums, as befits an act who’ve drifted into MOR territory.  Here’s the lead single “Moving”.
• “Paradise Valley” by John Mayer at number 4.  American singer-songwriter who once had a minor hit guesting with Fall Out Boy.  His previous album got to number 4 too.  Lead single: “Paper Doll”.  (It has quite the lyric video.)
• “The Ghost of the Mountain” by Tired Pony at number 14.  A supergroup formed by Gary Lightbody of Snow Patrol.  Peter Buck’s in it.  They do country music.  Single: “All Things Come At Once.”
• “Doris” by Earl Sweatshirt at number 23.  He’s a rapper.  Single: “Hive”.