At long last, a number one record that is no way, shape or form connected with The X Factor!  If you count records which were promoted on the show, then we haven’t had a number one single without a link to Simon Cowell’s ever-growing empire since mid-October.

Which is not to say that this week is a return to normal.  It’s a second consecutive charity single, and it’s a novelty record.  But believe me, there’s plenty to say about this one.

This oddity rejoices in the title “The Official BBC Children In Need Medley”, and it’s credited to Peter Kay’s Animated All-Star Band.  Children in Need is a telethon which the BBC has been running annually since 1980, raising money for the eponymous cause.  It rarely makes for memorable television, but it’s a national institution.  They’ve actually endorsed two charity singles this year – the other was “I Got Nothing”, a YouTube collaboration credited to the Chartjackers, which peaked at number 36 a couple of weeks ago. 

But this is the official one, premiered on the telethon itself a week last Friday, and then released to buy on the Saturday.  It promptly entered last week’s charts at number 18 on a single day of recorded sales, and climbs this week to number 1.

The idea, if you’re very slow on the uptake or just couldn’t be bothered clicking play, is that it’s a charity single made by characters from kids’ animation.  The voices are done by the original actors (except for Scooby Doo, whose original voice artist, Don Messick, died in 1997).  There aren’t any jokes in the song, as such, beyond the whole idea of cartoon characters making a charity record. 

Which is the first interesting thing: really, this is a video single, because the point is to enjoy the stop-motion animation and play spot-the-cameo.  Now, contrary to what I said last time, the rules on video singles are actually a bit complicated, no doubt because the chart compilers don’t want to wake up one week and discover that the UK’s number one single is a trailer for the new Harry Potter movie.  As near as I can fathom, the chart rules presently count physical DVD singles, and digital bundles where the audio and video track are sold together, but not freestanding video downloads.  Given that disadvantage, it’s pretty impressive that the track still made number one.  (Still, there has to be some room for improvement on these rules.)

Moving on, this is officially the fifth hit single and the third number one associated with comedian Peter Kay – although he’s only actually been credited under his own name on two of them, and he didn’t even appear on one of those.  The first was “(Is This The Way To) Amarillo?” from 2005, which is his on-stage theme music.  It’s a reissue of the original Tony Christie single from 1971, with Peter Kay miming in the video – but that was enough to get him a featured artist credit, and send the single to number one for seven weeks.  In 2007, he had three weeks at the top alongside the Proclaimers and Little Britain‘s Matt Lucas on a cover of “500 Miles”, but he’s credited on that record as his character Brian Potter.  And in 2008, he made the top 5 twice more under the name Geraldine McQueen, a character from an X Factor parody he made for Channel 4.  The songs were co-written by Gary Barlow; “The Winners Song”, which got to number 2, is a curious example of a parody so accurate it arguably isn’t a parody at all.

Terrifyingly, several other participants also add to their chart listings with this single.  For some reason, the Teletubbies are on it – their theme tune reached number 1 in 1997.  Bob the Builder is on in it, and he had two number 1s in 2000 and 2001.

Obama-esque, isn’t it?

Oh, and apparently the narrator from Thomas the Tank Engine is on the record too.

Next up… it’s a medley, and it’s very rare for those to make the top.  Well, depending on what you count as a medley.  If you’ll settle for two songs nailed together, then the last one was “The Tide Is High (Get The Feeling)” by Atomic Kitten in 2002.  But that’s not really a proper medley, is it?  For one of those, you’ve got to go back to at least 1989, when Jive Bunny had three number ones, starting with “Swing the Mood”. 

Even that doesn’t really count, though, because it’s just a megamix of existing songs, rather than a proper medley performed by a single artist.  No, for one of those, you’ve got to all the way back to this…

That’s “Let’s Have Another Party” by Winifred Atwell, the Christmas number 1 of 1954.  Hitherto the only proper medley to reach number 1 in the UK, it also holds the rather more interesting distinction of being the first UK number 1 by a black artist.  (To put that in context, the charts started in November 1952.)

Early December is traditionally a dead period for new singles – most acts either want to wait for Christmas, or hang on to the New Year when things are quieter – and Peter Kay has a good track record of big sellers, so I wouldn’t be surprised to see this stick around for a while.

Other new entries on this week’s chart (and you’ll see what I mean about it being a quiet period for new records):-

• Rihanna, “Russian Roulette” at number 6.  This is the lead single from her new album “Rated R” which, unusually, was released on the same day.  She plugged this on The X Factor last weekend, so it’ll probably go up on Sunday.  Cheerful little number, isn’t it?
• Susan Boyle, “Wild Horses” at number 9.  Because when you think Susan Boyle, you think the Rolling Stones.  This is the lead single from her debut album, which entered at number 1.  It’s no surprise that her audience went for the album, particularly as this single was only available as a download.
• Mariah Carey, “I Want To Know What Love Is” at number 19.  Does the Onion still do its “least essential records of the year” round-up?  Even with an X Factor performance to plug it, this wholly unnecessary Foreigner cover still only scrapes the top 20.  It’s actually the second single from her current album, but the lead track “Obsessed” missed the top 40 entirely in September.
• Lady Gaga, “Telephone” at number 30.  This is an album track from “The Fame Monster”, the reissued double-album version of “The Fame” which came out this week.  Naturally, people who already own “The Fame” have been downloading individual tracks from the new disc.  Lead single “Bad Romance” is at number 5 and climbing; “Telephone” is a scheduled future single.  Beyonce’s on it, and it’s possible that some people are getting confused with her upcoming single “Videophone”, on which Lady Gaga appears.
• Chipmunk, “Look For Me” at number 36.  Fifth single from his album, scheduled for release on 28 December, but already picking up album track downloads.
• Susan Boyle, “I Dreamed a Dream” at number 37.  Well, come on, of course people were going to download that track.