Everything’s in mid storyline this week, and I still haven’t found time to read that second Wolverine Max TPB, so let’s do this while it’s fresh.  It’s a quiet week on the release schedule, as we’re entering the phase where regular record promotion winds down for the Christmas break.  Which leaves the number one slot wide open for a change.

39.  Justin Bieber – “Change Me” 

The penultimate “Music Mondays” track is another one that would not normally have been considered for singles release in a million years.  Actually, looking back, this seems to be a weirdly uncommercial album for somebody like him.  This is the lowest charting of the nine released to date, but the tenth and final song is getting a music video and some degree of regular promotion, so I expect it to do better.

37.  Wizzard – “I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day”

It’s that time of year again, when the Christmas perennials return.  This has been an annual event since the advent of the download era, presumably because every year a new crop of teenagers suddenly feel the urge to own a copy of “Stop The Cavalry” and like.  God knows everyone else who wants these tracks must have bought them by now.

“I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day” made number 4 in 1973, and has entirely overshadowed Wizzard’s two number one hits, “See My Baby Jive” and “Angel Fingers”.  (“See My Baby Jive” is basically “I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day” without the Christmas.)

34.  Leona Lewis – “One More Sleep”

From her album “Christmas – With Love”.  Yes, it’s come to that.  It’s not horrendous, but she’s wasted on this stuff.  Lewis normally makes at least the top 20, so this is surprisingly low, but an X Factor performance tonight looks to have rocketed it up the iTunes chart.  We’ll see if that’s sustained.

33.  Mumford & Sons – “I Will Wait” 

Did somebody do it on X Factor, then?  (Googles.)  Yes.  Someone did.

30.  Pharrell Williams – “Happy”

From the soundtrack of Despicable Me 2.  This is clearly going further (it’s at 14 on iTunes right now), and it is a happy ditty indeed.  I like it.  But not enough to sit through the 24-hour edit of the video, and yes, that really exists.  (The song repeats, if you’re wondering.  They don’t actually have a day-long mix.)

Pharrell has had two number ones this year as a guest artist (“Blurred Lines” and “Get Lucky”), but perhaps surprisingly, this is only his second solo hit as the lead credited artist.  The other was “Frontin'”, which made the top 10 way back in 2003.

25.  Rihanna – “What Now”

Climbing 14, which is a bit more like it.

20.  All About She – “Higher (Free)”

All About She are producers Jon Clare and James Tadgell, and singer Vanya Taylor.  Despite the video, they’re not American.  They’re from High Wycombe.  This is their first hit, and it’s a very good dance track.  Deserves to go higher, and might yet.

19.  James Arthur – “Recovery”

Not the main version of the track, I believe, but it’s the only one with a video.  This is the guy who won X Factor last year, and sales here have certainly been helped by a performance on the results show last week.  Still not a great chart place.  There’s no denying he’s got a voice, though.

16.  The Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl – “Fairytale of New York”

Surely everyone must have this by now?   Surely they must issue it to new humans when they emerge from the womb?  (I’ll have to ask the boy.)  Originally a number 2 hit in 1987, this was the Pogues’ biggest UK hit.  If you’re wondering, the next-biggest Pogues hit was “The Irish Rover” (a collaboration with the Dubliners that made number 8 the same year), and the next-biggest McCall hit was “A New England” (number 7 in 1985).

15.  Rebecca Ferguson – “I Hope”

Highest new entry in a seriously dead week for major new releases.  Ferguson was the runner-up in 2010’s X Factor (that’s the year Matt Cardle won), and she’s more of an albums artist, but crops up on the singles chart occasionally.  It’s the lead single from her second album “Freedom”, and while it’s sub-Adele, it probably deserved better than to tail in one place behind…

14.  Mariah Carey – “All I Want For Christmas Is You” 

I mean, seriously, people.  It is the best thing she ever recorded, though.

12.  Jason DeRulo – “Trumpets”

Up 14.  Damn.

8.  Avicii – “Hey Brother”

Up 6, for his third top 10 hit of the year.  It’s been a good 2013 for him.

And after much unexciting reshuffling among the existing denizens of the top 10…

1.  Lily Allen – “Somewhere Only We Know”

Rebounding from number 4 to take a second week at number 1.  And it’s still at number 1 on iTunes now…

Meanwhile, her official single “Hard Out Here” has dropped out of the top 40 entirely after two weeks, and is now sitting at 50.  It’s all very odd.

On the album chart, it’s Music For Grannies week:

• “Midnight Memories” by One Direction stays at number 1 for a second week.  Been a while since I’ve said that.
• “A Musical Affair” by Il Divo at number 5.  Pop classical tenors from the Stable Of Cowell.
• “Freedom” by Rebecca Ferguson at 6.  We’ve mentioned the single.
• “The Christmas Album” by Richard & Adam at 24.  More pop classics.  They’re Britain’s Got Talent alumni, though they didn’t win.
• “Christmas, With Love” by Leona Lewis at 25.
• “Britney Jean” by Britney Spears at 34.  No, it’s not a B-sides compilation, it’s not a special edition – that’s as high as the new Britney Spears album could get.  Britney Spears has never previously had an album land below 13.  This is a spectacular bomb, and her label will surely be viewing it as a catastrophe.  You can’t blame this solely on lack of promotion (even if she did give only one interview to promote it in the UK – to The Daily Telegraph).
• “Live at Rome Olympic Stadium” by Muse at 36, a self-explanatory live album.  It’s also available as a DVD, which will be splitting the sales.